I wanted to shoot a still life that reflected time. I went gathering around the house for miscellaneous items that represented it. The watch I often glance at while at work running from one meeting to the next. The two hourglasses on my desk, one measuring a five minute break and the other measuring thirty minutes of focus. The Chanel face cream I apply in the evening in hopes to delay the evidence of passed time on my forehead and underneath my eyes. A camera pencil sharpener representing the cameras I've used to capture a moment in time.
On my first attempt I used a soft box with a white background. It turned out pretty awful but that didn't discourage me. Instead I appreciated how terrible it was. In my mind I had envisioned: dark mood with hard shadows and bright highlights. Instead I got something that looked like direct flash on some office supplies. It was bad but it gave me so much joy to know that I have so much growth and learning ahead of me.
I’m starting to understand and appreciate the process more so than ever before. And the relationship between time and growth, vision and execution. I considered this my creative rock bottom and from rock bottom there’s only one way to go. Instead of packing it all up and never bring my idea to fruition I slept on it and waited for daylight.
When the morning came, I jumped out of bed and gathered all my things. I sat on the living room floor studying the light before deciding where I would set up. After playing around with the lighting and rearranging some of my props I got much closer to what I had envisioned.
My goal for 2018 is to create. That’s it. To trust that I will grow and become better over time. Every time I pick up my camera I’m learning something new. It’s not perfect but it’s progress and that’s what I’m striving for in 2018.
